Graf met de handjes

In the heart of the charming Dutch city of Roermond lies a unique and touching testament to love that transcends boundaries: the Graf met de handjes, or Grave with the little hands. This 19th-century funerary monument, located at the Begraafplaats Nabij de Kapel in 't Zand (Cemetery near the Chapel in the Sand), is not just a resting place for the departed but a powerful symbol of enduring love and unity in the face of societal division.

The Story Behind the Monument

The tale of the Graf met de handjes is rooted in the lives of two individuals whose love defied the conventions of their time. Jacobus Warnerus Constantinus van Gorkum, a Protestant colonel in the Dutch cavalry, and Josephina Carolina Petronella Hubertina van Aefferden, a Catholic noblewoman from Roermond, were married on November 3, 1842. Their union was controversial for several reasons: their differing religions, their families' opposing sides in the recent Belgian War of Independence, their age difference, and the disparity in their social standings.

Despite these challenges, Jacobus and Josephina's love flourished, and they raised five children together in the Catholic faith. When Jacobus passed away on August 28, 1880, he was buried in the Protestant section of the cemetery. Josephina, who deeply wished to be laid to rest beside her beloved husband, faced a significant obstacle: as a Catholic, she could not be buried in unconsecrated ground.

The Creation of the Graf met de handjes

Upon Josephina's death on November 29, 1888, her children honored her final wishes in a remarkable way. They commissioned a double grave with two nearly identical tombstones on either side of the wall that separated the Catholic and Protestant sections of the cemetery. These tombstones, connected by a pair of hands reaching over the wall to clasp each other, symbolized the unbreakable bond between Jacobus and Josephina, even in death.

Likely crafted in 1888 by the Roermond-based firm Atelier Cuypers-Stoltzenberg, the neogothic tombstones feature intricate details. Each is topped with a cross and adorned with the van Gorkum family crest. The Latin motto Vivit post funera virtus (Virtue survives after death) is inscribed on both monuments, underscoring the enduring nature of their love and virtue.

A Symbol of Unity and Love

The Graf met de handjes is more than just a grave; it is a poignant reminder of the power of love to transcend religious, social, and even physical boundaries. The two hands reaching across the wall represent the connection between Jacobus and Josephina, a connection that could not be severed by the constraints of their time or the finality of death.

This touching monument has captured the hearts of many visitors and has become a symbol of unity in Roermond. It stands as a testament to the couple's determination to remain united, despite the divisions imposed by society. Their story has inspired countless visitors, reminding them of the importance of love and acceptance in the face of adversity.

Visiting the Graf met de handjes

Today, the Graf met de handjes is a popular destination for tourists and locals alike. Located in the serene and picturesque Begraafplaats Nabij de Kapel in 't Zand, the grave offers a peaceful spot for reflection and contemplation. The cemetery itself has a rich history, having originally served as a Jewish burial ground before being expanded in 1785 to accommodate Christian burials. The renowned architect Pierre Cuypers redesigned the cemetery in 1858, creating separate sections for Catholic and Protestant burials.

As you walk through the cemetery, you will find the Graf met de handjes near the wall that once symbolized division. The sight of the two hands clasping over the wall is both heartwarming and thought-provoking, inviting visitors to ponder the enduring power of love and the importance of unity.

A Cultural Touchstone

The story of Josephina and Jacobus has transcended the boundaries of Roermond, capturing the imagination of people around the world. In 2016, their tale was dramatized in the French webcomic Valerosas by Pénélope Bagieu, which highlights the lives of inspiring and unconventional women. The webcomic was later published in two volumes and translated into English, further spreading the story of the Graf met de handjes.

The monument was also recognized for its cultural and historical significance in 2002 when it was designated as a rijksmonument (national monument) of the Netherlands. This designation ensures that the Graf met de handjes will be preserved for future generations to appreciate and learn from.

In conclusion, the Graf met de handjes is not just a grave; it is a powerful symbol of love, unity, and resilience. It tells the story of two individuals who defied societal norms to be together and serves as a reminder that love can overcome even the most formidable barriers. A visit to this poignant monument offers a unique and moving experience, making it a must-see attraction in the beautiful city of Roermond.